IS SECURITY HOLDING YOU BACK FROM LIVING THE LIFE YOU LOVE?
The need for “security” is as primitive as our need to drink cow's milk after we’re five years old. Yes, kids need milk. But after a certain age it’s been proven that cow's milk is counterproductive. The same is true with “security”. We all need to feel secure when we’re younglings, but there’s a point where we have to become self sufficient! Okay, truth be told, we will always need a certain level of “security,” just like we will always need calcium. But it doesn’t mean we have to get our calcium from cow's milk. And it certainly doesn’t mean that our “security” has to come from a job you hate or the partner you can no longer stand. Sometimes women who yearn to reinvent their careers into self-sustaining, successful businesses, often let their need for security get in the way of taking action. They either stay at jobs they dislike because they’re afraid of not having a consistent pay check, or they become too paralyzed to speak to their husbands/partners when they need emotional or financial support to invest in themselves.
Our need for security runs deep, and it often shows up in different ways for everyone. This is a problem because life is short. Lets be serious, there’s never a perfect time for anything, except maybe ice cream and pedicures! But the need to feel secure is nothing more than a survival mechanism. There will never be a perfect time to leave your job, or to tell your hubby you need money to invest in your idea or to get off your butt and get things done. You just have to do it, or sometimes the universe makes something happen, and that becomes a catalyst. This is when the Sense of Urgency Phenomenon is born.
What if one day you woke up tomorrow as Wonder Woman and you are given a mission...If your mission isn't met, little Johnny and Susie will be kidnapped by aliens and taken on a long vacation to Mars without you. Sounds terrible (the kidnapping part, right)? It is, so lets get to it!
Make a change and take a chance. This change could be anything from
leaving an unhappy and unhealthy relationship, your dreaded 9-5 job, or launching the business you've always dreamt of. It could simply be buying a lottery ticket...you never know, you may just be a winner! But if you don't take a chance, you will never know. You may laugh at the idea of making a quick change, you may even think it's irresponsible, but what's really irresponsible, is not taking care of your needs. Not living your best life.
Our need to be secure is natural but it can also hold us back from living the life we really yearn for. I met a woman who wanted to leave her husband for a really long time. She knew she had to create her own financial security, but deep down she was afraid. For years she kept self sabotaging all of her entrepreneurial efforts because deep down she didn’t believe she could succeed. She kept telling herself, “at least I have a roof over my head." One day something really bad happened in her marriage and she had to file for divorce almost immediately. Little did she know, her husband had filed for bankruptcy and was nearly penniless. Her lawyer told her she had three months left in her home and then she would have to start looking for another place to live. So guess what happened? The Sense of Urgency Phenomenon appeared.
In three months she built her business to such a level that she was overjoyed that all this had happened. In three months she built a business that supported her and her three kids comfortably while she went through her divorce. Was it easy? No! But she did it! When I asked her what had changed she said, “I suddenly had a sense of urgency. I HAD to perform for the sake of my kids and so that's what I did.”
When our sense of urgency gets activated we get into action fast. But why wait until something bad happens or the Universe sends us a wake up call? Why not create a faux sense of urgency? I mean, faux fur is sometimes just as good as the real stuff, so why not hack our mindset with a faux sense of urgency? Hacking mindsets is perhaps my favorite thing about coaching.
Here’s what you can do to start hacking your own mindset:
1. Who would I have to be to play at my highest level right now?
2. What if I only had one week to get IT done?
3. What can I let go of?
Get creative and pretend that if you don’t figure things out FAST, your kids or favorite pet will be kidnapped by aliens. This my friend will activate the reticular activation system in your brain and I promise, YOU WILL GET THINGS DONE FAST. What are you waiting for?
What do you think about security? Let me know below!